Aniblog Tourney Strikes Back

Twitter might be likened to a continually-bubbling cauldron of drama: there is never an absence of it, but sometimes the cauldron gets hotter.

5camp’s Aniblog Tourney, which spawned such greats as “Help Me Stroke My E-Peen,” has returned.

Though 5camp stated that all participants have already been contacted, the cart-driving judge was quick to add that new challengers are welcome to submit their information and brave the scrutiny of naysayers along with the rest.  The tournament’s mildly adversarial “bracket” format promises interesting drama for weeks to come.

Published in: on March 18, 2012 at 3:42 AM  Comments (4)  
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Silly Alexandra Wallace

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will never hurt me.

– Traditional

Silly bitch, your weapons cannot harm me!

The Juggernaut

Everyone keeps dithering over precisely how much we should condemn a girl for babbling something racist on YouTube. But what she did is, in a strange way, actually good for her as a person: this is a great opportunity for her to examine her views and decide whether or not she wants to change them, while she’s still young.

On the whole, it’s hardly a meritorious act, but how many skinheads wind up with a criminal record, or have to see friends die, before they ever reconsider their hatred? She’s getting this chance rather cheaply.  That she can do so is itself one of the merits of a tolerant society.

The Great Unveiling

Just who is moritheil, anyway? After consulting with leading theorists and conducting careful research, we were able to verify a few facts.

Be prepared, for what is revealed here today may shock you.

These are the basics:

1. Moritheil is a mammal.
2. Moritheil tweets ALL the time.
3. The purpose of moritheil is to flip out and blog about people.

However, the real ultimate power of observation belonged to a German blogger named halcy:

@mefloraine and @moritheil always appear at roughly the same time… SAME PERSON??

Cue gender ambiguity.

Situational Homosexuality in Male Otaku

Allegations of situational homosexuality are surprisingly prevalent amongst male anime otaku, despite – or perhaps because of – stereotypical perceptions that they are infrequently involved in sexual activity. Let us examine one incident:

[read bottom to top]


ANN references ‘First they came for the lolis’

Readers might recall my Anime Diet article on FUNImation censoring Dance in the Vampire Bund. Because censorship was being likened by fans to all sorts of atrocities, the column concluded by suggesting that if Niemoller lived as an otaku today, he would have made a poem about the slippery slope of censorship rather than the crimes of the Nazis.


Published in: on April 7, 2010 at 5:29 AM  Comments (16)  
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Mefloraine’s Movable Feast

It’s been suggested that Twitter is a hotbed of debauchery.  And really, with certain quotes, it might not be hard to believe that.

mefloraine Throw a party and divide me up for the guests!?  =D

mefloraine I just realized that “Nice pantsu.  They look natural.” is a really awkward comment out of context.  =D

mefloraine Boxers are sexy in a different way.  =D

All is right with the world.

Is this part of a swinging scheme?  Does she turn suitors down so she can pursue her omnivorous ways?


Boob faction unveils anthem

Yet another blow has been struck in the Internet’s burgeoning holy war that pits “delicious flat chest lovers” against “tit lovers.”  In a surprise announcement at a state funeral, Emperor Charles zi Britannia spoke of the need for oppai to secure the future. Elevens leaked the speech onto YouTube.

The Moritheil Review has learned that Pantherrh’s corporate ally Pizza Hut paid off the Emperor in exchange for his support.  Rumors abound of a full version of ‘All Hail Oppai’ based on the national anthem, but it is unclear whether Brittanian royalty will consent to the modification of one of their most revered traditional songs.

The Brittanian Emperor was unavailable for comment.

Published in: on March 5, 2010 at 5:20 PM  Comments (8)  
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Springtime for Moe

Dear Haruhi-sama,

Moe debates are the Godwin’s Law of anime.  Please look kindly upon the poor blogging masses and forgive us our doubt.

janaiblog Dear God, another fucking moe debate is a-brewing. Signing off.

Gundampilotspaz Guys it’s too early for a Moe debate.

TheLostHorizon There’s a moe debate going on?  What is being debated? The standard “moe is ruining anime” debate?

nightdreamer any chances this thing about moe debates involve that Colony Drop site?

Thedigitalbug Moe is ruining our lives. Discuss. j/k

jlskun I’m watching K-On!! against my better judgment. Shoot me now and put me out of my misery.

timmaughan @moritheil @janaiblog @Gundampilotspaz I’m not taking the blame for this one, I was asked a direct question by @TheGinachu. BLAME HER.

TheGinachu @janaiblog @timmaughan DON’T BLAME ME! LOL I was just adding to the conversation. I said nothing negative about moe.

As if that were not enough, the true, horrifying form of the abyss was synthesized by halcy:  part Godwin’s Law, part moe debate, all atrocity.

@moritheil You know who else thought that Yui was more moe than Mio? That’s right. HITLER.

Anyash announces bish hegemony

A Proclamation
Special Administrative Zone of Japan

By Her Excellency
Anya Alstreim, Knight of Six

Whereas, unlike certain persons, I am not a masochist, and

Whereas, it is my desire to possess sparkly, magical, transforming neko-bishes, and

Whereas, possession of bishes is superior to want of such, and

Whereas, it is appropriate that I claim my due,

NOW, THEREFORE, I, ANYA ALSTREIM, Knight of Six, do hereby proclaim the associated bishes of Zone Eleven to be


and urge all citizens of the Empire and Elevens to take cognizance of this event and participate fittingly in its observance.

Published in: on February 14, 2010 at 3:48 AM  Comments (3)  
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Springtime for nyoronyolo

As winter faded and February 14th approached, our hero was deep in the throes of denial.  Love?  3D girls?  An otaku cares not for these things.

nyoronyolo stop spamming me about Valentine’s because I don’t fucking care about it – o –

And yet fate decreed that nyoronyolo would not remain in his self-imposed solitude.  Who should approach now, but one of those girls?

Pralyn @nyoronyolo Valentines’s Valentines’s Valentines’s Valentines’s Valentines’s Valentines’s ;D

Some inexplicable figment, some ineluctable quality of her repeated pleas kindled a spark in his heart.  “Chance!” thought the otaku blogger. Swiftly, his deft fingers framed a response:

nyoronyolo @Pralyn take responsibility for this and go out with me then~

Alas, it was not to be.  The spark of hope, so new and fresh, was stamped out by the iron boot of derision.

Pralyn @nyoronyolo Rofl… no.

Published in: on February 1, 2010 at 3:53 PM  Comments (5)  
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