Yet another blow has been struck in the Internet’s burgeoning holy war that pits “delicious flat chest lovers” against “tit lovers.” In a surprise announcement at a state funeral, Emperor Charles zi Britannia spoke of the need for oppai to secure the future. Elevens leaked the speech onto YouTube.
The Moritheil Review has learned that Pantherrh’s corporate ally Pizza Hut paid off the Emperor in exchange for his support. Rumors abound of a full version of ‘All Hail Oppai’ based on the national anthem, but it is unclear whether Brittanian royalty will consent to the modification of one of their most revered traditional songs.
The Brittanian Emperor was unavailable for comment.