This Drama is REAL

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
– William Congreve

“This boat is REAL.” – The Lonely Island

Koji Oe put forth a relatively tame post with his unfiltered thoughts about his relationship with a dedicated gamer.  He likened his role to that of Genshiken‘s Kasukabe, having to put up with her extended gaming sessions.  Also, he sort of forgot that his girlfriend and her extended friend group apparently all read his blog.

No points for guessing where this is going.

All you really see is Kasukabe in Kousaka’s room watching him play games and talk about anime with her, a person who has no interest in anime and video games.

Soon the ravening hordes descended upon him, and things got ugly – exacerbated by his undiplomatic responses:

Wow. Fucking tl;dr. You’re obviously a girl. Bitches and whores. – Koji Oe

Yep, I’m a girl. I also play wow. And met my husband there. How’s your sense of “omg gamertwat” tingling now? – Paige

And perhaps the most representative rant:

When someone who never met your girlfriend calls her trash to be used and then thrown away, another person just called her a loser because she chose to spend her time raiding as opposed to sitting in front of a computer screen watching a japanese cartoon AND YOU JUST GAVE TWO LINES. AND THEN APOLOGIZED BECAUSE IT WASNT AN ATTACK TO YOU WHEN IT CLEARLY WAS AN ATTACK ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND . . .
– Asia

Some girls were so angry that proper sentence structure was but a dream.

Absent context, there’s a lot to be angry about.  I could easily point out that there are a number of things that aren’t being understood here, chief among them the anime blogger’s tendency to analyze, dissect, and even nitpick all experiences.  Just this once, Koji Oe turned the same attention to detail that he spends on anime to his personal life, and he unleashed a firestorm of controversy.

Here we also find some interesting personal behavior.  A man reading this might object that for all that women claim that they are not to be placed on pedestals, they clearly still desire that no one talk bad about them, even when it is honest and not malicious.  Understanding the weight placed on that may require a bit of insight: social standing and approval or lack thereof might not mean much to you, but for some people it is everything. Some fight as hard for their social standing as others fight to be champion boxers.  Giving the lie to that is therefore a grave insult.  (This is a bizarre explanation, but changing the context may be helpful for those that give no conscious thought to their own social standing.)

Alternatively, we could just say it’s a matter of respect. Koji Oe’s farcical lines, “Get back in the kitchen,” and so forth, were probably not meant in earnest.  His protests that the women did not understand this, however, illustrate a different problem.  They were probably aware that he did not really mean it, but this kind of dismissal nonetheless constituted a lack of respect for them akin to a man spitting on the man holding a knife to his crotch.  In terms of realpolitik, the girls were keenly aware that they held the power to ruin his relationship, and they expected a modicum of respect in return for not exercising this power.

You never quit, do you? I yell at you in real life, and you continue to make fun of my friends. It’s over. I’m sorry. And yes, I’m doing this on your blog, since you like getting online attention so much, anyways. You need to learn that RL isn’t 4chan. Oh, and I’m making that post I made about you earlier visible, since you were so determined to storm in here and see it.

– Rokujo

Sic transit gloria mundi.

While I think this post was blown out of proportion, one thing is certain – when you start perceiving REALITY through FICTION, not only does that show a complete lack of relationship experience, you start to relate shit to characters and situations that aren’t human at all, thus limiting your sight on the features of people involved in that relationship. – Miha

This, I really don’t agree with.  Fiction is basically reality filtered through the author’s perspective. It’s artificial, but that isn’t always bad – it can improve your capacity to put up with bad things, or it can take it away.  The issue is doing it right, and learning that can take a lifetime.

Published in: on December 16, 2009 at 9:32 PM  Comments (22)  
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22 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have been a wreck. I needed this.

    Thank you.

  2. I’m not sure what is funnier, that you calling it a firestorm, your blog post in general, or kojioe’s blog post itself.

    I guess I couldn’t tell because they’re all about the same.

  3. I’ll still say that wow-players are human garbage. Most MMOs, really.

  4. I think the response to kojioe’s post reminds me of some of the responses that people make to the OEG posts. Hey. :/

  5. Good read =3.

  6. >Despite these things, I like her just the same. I mean, I could be stuck dating a girl that would rather go shopping all the time or do things I don’t have the slightest interest in like with my first girlfriend. Least with Ali, we have similar interests and feelings.

    >Are you what, intimidated by women who enjoy gaming and aren’t afraid to have fun even in a predominantly male hobby?

    The responses given to a certain thing reveal whatever bias or presumptions the reader has. As for the posted material, it is what it is.

    As another example, one person I know posted the now-internet-famous “Usher Vs. Goat that Yells like A Man” ( ) in his blog. The comments included accusations of racism, assertions that all r&b singers are talentless hacks, etc. It seemed out of proportion to the “hey guyz the chorus in this one song kind of sounds like a goat lol” wacky post that the person originally intended to make.

  7. Uninteresting dorama. I prefer those OEG dramas and last year’s ‘christmas’ drama.


  8. In terms of realpolitik, the girls were keenly aware that they held the power to ruin his relationship, and they expected a modicum of respect in return for not exercising this power.

    Oh man, this. You really got to the heart of it, didn’t you? Well played, Aya-chan. Well played.

    • I got into the bones of it, one might say. And thanks.

  9. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Benu and Mori, Eugen Rochko. Eugen Rochko said: RT @Benu: RT @moritheil: This drama is REAL: #tmr #dorama #love (This makes me want to weep for the future of anime … […]

  10. Why did I expect this to happen when Koji Oe first wrote he got a girlfriend? *sigh*

  11. I love the part about being an addicted gamer, sounds like me, lol

  12. Some people just don’t understand the fine line that separates the Internet and RL. Or maybe because the line is blurred, which is why they don’t.

  13. I made a honest comment there. Let’s see what happens next. Hope I didn’t add fuel.

  14. The outcome was sad, both sides got too hot-headed. The trolls won.

  15. Everyone who was involved with this handled it terribly. Especially Koji-Oe. I’m just sorry right now.

  16. […] 9.  Koji Oe – At great personal cost, he kept it real. […]

  17. […] serious relationship between humans has a degree of give-and-take involved. There will always be times when you are not pleased with your mate; there will almost […]

  18. […] to have suffered greatly from matters of misinterpretation, culminating in his infamous ‘I’m dating an ex-fujoshi‘ post and her resultant public breakup with […]

  19. […]    at least, slave to demographics, […]

  20. […] because society does come around and say: You are a bad person – literally, in the case of public arguments like Koji Oe’s. But what society wants is at best tangential to the real […]

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